Here’s Round 12: The Labyrinth of No End. If you’ll forgive my use of such language, I’ll say that it’s a bit of a bastard of a thing. Let’s proceed!
What are these wusses doing in the last stage?
Their main purpose is in fact distraction, I think. There are no shops in this stage (that I know of, anyway), so there’s no point collecting money any more. You might remember back in the first round I said that the hourglass was the second-worst thing in the game? This stage is why: It’s long and confusing, and losing a life heart every time the hourglass runs out is the main source of damage, and the most likely reason a player will die here. So, rather than wasting time killing these SNAKEs, I’m jumping past them.
Same goes for these MINI-DEATH MASTERs.
This ANACONDA is a slightly different story. It’s moving, so it’s hard to jump over. It’s better to kill it rather than risk losing time getting hit and thrown back.
I go for the worst of both options and get hit trying to kill it.
This one goes a little better.
This one does not.
Here’s the first choice of the labyrinth. The high road, or the low? I take the top.
Look familiar? The upper road leads back to the start of the labyrinth. This is a screen we’ll be seeing a lot of, actually.
Once again, no time to waste.
I manage to jump two of the three ANACONDAs without getting hit this time. Let’s see what’s below.
Looks like we’re onto a winner. This isn’t the start, at least.
These guys are also usually worth killing. The way they hop up and down makes them hard to jump over, and even if you do get past them safely, they’ll start firing arrows at your back.
The way the MINI-RED KNIGHTs move makes them hard to just bypass as well. Note that I’ve lost my first heart to the clock between the second and third shots here.
I skip these PYTHONs and am again faced with a choice: Go right, or go down? Unlike when I reached the first juncture, I’m not going to pretend I don’t know where I’m going this time. It’s down.
Time for another decision! Let’s go left.
Hmm. The left passage in this room just leads back to the top of the previous screen. When I was a kid I thought you had to go down the left path first, then the right, but I’ve since found out you can go the right path the first time.
God, more choice! This time you have to go left. I have no idea where you wind up if you go right, but I assume it’s the start again. I can reliably get about halfway through the labyrinth, so I haven’t taken most of the wrong turns in the first section since I was a kid.
This corridor is full of EEL WHIPS. They can drop LIFE HEARTS, so sometimes it’s worth killing them.
Not this time, unfortunately. I usually kill that first one because its movement through the air puts it in a spot where you can jump and kill it without stopping.
The next one hits me, and doesn’t drop any life either. I would’ve been better off just running past it.
I smarten up for a second there, but then I waste time on a fourth WHIPS. Really, the drop rate of the LIFE HEARTS makes this pretty inefficient.
I waste yet more time killing another one before I reach these GHOSTs. They have like a zillion HP, so I’m not gonna even try. Instead, I’ll make my escape. But should I go left, or down?
The answer is down. And then right.
And then down, and then right. I have no idea how I wound up outside the passageway in the last shot there. I guess I was pushing into the wall during the screen transition and got lucky. Fortunately I was able to carry on as normal by walking to the right edge of the screen.
Here’s me, ignoring a prime chance to bypass this KNIGHT.
There goes some life.
These pillars keep screwing up my screenshots. Anyway, there’s a few more GOBLINs along this way. I don’t bother with the second guy’s money bag.
We come to another juncture. I can go up, or right.
Sadly, the correct path is up. Remember where I said that the hourglass is the second worst thing in the game? You’re about to see number one:
It doesn’t look like much, but this abomination is responsible for the premature endings of countless games of Wonder Boy in Monster Land, and the accompanying frustration of players everywhere. What happens here is the platforms start to move upwards after you jump off them. Doesn’t look too bad, right? I’m about to land on that one on the right side, so I can just keep jumping and I’ll make it?
Wrong. If you try to stand on the platforms while they’re moving, you’ll fall through them. You have to jump back and forwards between the two platforms to make any progress. When you land on either platform, it starts falling. If you take too long, you’ll be too far below the other one to make the jump. If you hit jump before you’ve changed direction, you sometimes can’t turn back in time. The SMS controller’s D-pad is not a great help in this area.
Once you reach the bottom, you’ll find that the platform you used to jump up isn’t there anymore. I think if you try to go left you’ll just bump up against the side of the screen. Going right leads to:
The start of the stage! The makers of the game didn’t even have the decency to refill the hourglass.
I set off through the labyrinth again, but I lose a heart to the clock and some more life to enemies, and before you know it, there goes my REVIVAL POTION. I’m basically stuffed now. Great.
Still, I carry on, and soon I’m back here.
A much better start.
I carry on, and at last I’ve reached the top of the screen and can put this horror behind me.
Or not.
In fact there are five screens of this, and I am in a state of white-knuckled tension the entire time. The greatest danger is the first platform of each screen: if it sinks below the bottom of the screen before you jump, you fall.
I’ve reached the top, and can now breathe easy. In a small act of mercy, the game starts you on this platform instead of making you jump up to it.
Alright, I'm stopping there for today. This is about halfway through the stage (the short half). Here's some extra stuff:
My rather sad first attempt at the climb.
My much improved second shot.
And here's an old Japanese ad for the game (apparently called "Super Wonder Boy Monster World" over there) featuring a brief clip of that same climb. Why they'd want to advertise that, I don't know.
Next: Round 12, part 2
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